Assimilation (sacrificial post for my writing class)

Important Note: This is a journal entry from way back 2005, posted merely for my writing class' exercise in methods of exposition and partially because I am delighted with what you guys have been posting so far. The others who still have nothing posted on their blogs...well, we are waiting.




Assimilation
The process of receiving new facts or of responding to new situations in conformity with what is already available to consciousness – (Merriam-Webster, 2009)



Last night sent me on a rollercoaster, or rather, he had me riding an emotional rollercoaster. He said he and I were going to have dinner at their place and I was to meet his mother. Yes, in a declarative tone, like he was delivering the latest traffic update. I went through the emotional stages—albeit, probably not in order—that normal human beings go through went confronted with such predicaments.

Denial (ha? Ano sinabi mo? What mother?); Anger (ang daya mo, sabi mo sa kin April, tapos March, tapos Feb, tapos nextweek…tapos ngayon ngayon na?! Sumosobra ka na!!); Bargaining (please, next week na lang, I’ll just finish the work I have to do and wala talaga ako sa kondisyon ngayon); Self-deprecation (lagi na lang ikaw masusunod, lagi mo na lang ako binu-bully. Kawawa naman ako!); until finally Acceptance (fine, goddamit! Is my hair okay?!)

So I met his mother, and she wasn’t bad. Not bad at all. She’s actually cool: very sprightly, warm, and frank. A bit intimidating especially when she looks at you with a gaze that kind of holds you in your place, but she can whisk all that in a second when she smiles at you. I don’t know her yet, so I can’t make generalizations.

Meeting his other friends, though, got me down. Really down. I don’t know why, because they’re a cool bunch—amazing in fact. But they—all of them including him—just made me realize how much I miss my friends, the kids at the punk gigs, the fellas in the pit. How much comfortable I was with people who sang the same songs, who moved to the same music. Now they seem so…I don’t know, maybe, far and out of reach. I felt strangely out of place. Awkwardly uprooted.

And because I am the kind of person I am, I know I will make no such effort to fit in. Oo, bahala na.



-----oh, I found a photo, too-----




Me and then co-faculty, Charelle, ca. 2005 (around the time I wrote that) taken during a DLSC College faculty get-together bonfire.


Have a great weekend. \m/

old friend

[this is a poem i wrote for the modern day academic...but a good friend of mine, taking up his PhD in some hot shot field of chemistry in some hot shot ivy league school in the US says it's about him. fine fine. maybe, maybe not)

when we were little you would doodle comets and jupiter
in the last pages of your notebook.
i would draw mountains and rivers and rising suns
on the wooden schooldesk.

well, now..of course
i can’t draw blue whales on my students’ exam essays.

but, you can’t draw rockets headed for mars on your case analysis, either.

but i can still make star-trails on the office floor.

you? *sly smile*
what can you still do?

Rainy Days

It's been raining a lot these days; quite a sudden change from those weeks of blazing hot weather and high humidity that seemed to have dragged on and on and on. I have always like the rain and welcomed it: I don't really mind if I get caught in a shower and soaked in a rainstorm; as long as I don't have anything on me that will not survive (i.e., mp4 player, cellphone, fancy clothes, etc.).

Oh, and yesterday, for some forgotten reason, I got around tot telling my friends about a netizen I have met years ago and who I remember (despite my notoriously lo-fi memory) quite well. He is actually one of the most..uh...curious people I've met to date. His interests are varied (and some people might have trouble coming to terms with this) and, as I understand it, there might be a lot of people who will find this simply incomprehensible.

Ok, let me quote a few lines from his MySpace account:

"My name now is Tydyn Rain St. Clair, a name I quite like, but that does not hint at the multidimensional complexity of my being, invisible to the objective eye.......
....I live my life by new paradigms in all areas of life. I've always felt different from just about everyone I've ever met, and compounding that I've also always questioned and challenged the assumptions, beliefs, conditioning, patterns, and programming of the society in which I matured (and those globally). In doing so, I've come to hold a radically different perspective on just about everything. In the past, this caused me to alienate myself from everyone around me, which, of course, left me feeling intensely unfulfilled, frustrated, and isolated. Now, however, I revel in my eccentricity and difference, and wear it like a badge of honor."
I've been training in the immensely multifaceted and multidimensional Afro-Brazilian martial art of capoeira (Grupo Axé Capoeira) since April of 2005. It challenges me and pushes me to my limits like nothing else...I want to express excellence in all aspects of capoeira and become an amazing capoeirista.
I want to travel and live worldwide restoring tropical forests, working with my beloved bamboos, and learning languages through cultural assimilation.

I heal, liberate, and empower women, especially in the domains of relationship dynamics, body-freedom, and sexuality, through my role as a Healing Transformational Catalyst. Practices which I have been drawn to combine and utilize for this purpose are polyamory, naturism/nudism, sacred sexuality/tantra/erotic spirituality, ethical sluthood/sacred (or deep) swinging, integral transformative practice/integral life practice, conscious reality creation, global nomadism/citizenship, and capoeira."

My friend Tydyn also calls himself EROS REBORN in honor of his lifelong mission. So, feel welcome to check his Myspace out.


Allright, that's all for now, kids. Hope to read your journals soon.

\m/

Revival!

Hola!!

I'm back to blogging over blogger.com once again and reviving one of the old blogs I keep for academic purposes. I can't remember how many blogs I have out here in the "wawawa" (WWW), but I do hope to compile a list soon enough just to go over what I had been preoccupied with back in my more carefree (?) years. Reading my past journal entries (onlie and off) has always brought me much entertainment. Have you ever felt, at any point in your life, that you have evolved into a significantly different (if not better) person over such a short span of time for reasons you have yet to decipher? It happens to me quite often.

So, yes, this blog revival of sorts is for a couple of classes I am handling this term. Namely, my English One class and my English Basic classes. I am still deciding whether to use this for my Litform class...

So far, only Happy has submitted/shared her designated English One blog with me, owning the first spot on the blog list to your right. Check out "Written and Not Spoken"...yeah, yeah \m/. That's the spirit.

Ok, I'll make this short and sweet and I'll write more in the days to come. I do hope to write more often and get back into this blogging thing outside some of the sites I am more active in. And before I go, I'll share a video of this musician that I just admire so much not just for the skill/talent he obviously has but because of ...well, this sort of intrinsic vibe and HEART for jazz/groove/soul/funk and just the kind of music I am totally crazy about.

You guys enjoy, drop me a line, and have a nice day :)

to "journal" or not to "journal"

I received an interesting article in my mail today. It's about the merits of habitual journal writing. The article confirmed once more that writing down one's thoughts (positive, negative or anything in between) contributes to the writer's physical and psychological well-being. However, the article's author (Writespark's Shery Ma Belle Arrieta-Russ) takes it one step further by stating:

"While pouring out your frustrations can be a release valve for daily stress, it is important to make a positive statement from it all. When you look at the proverbial bright side of an experience, you are on the way to a happier life. If you can only see the dark, depressing side, take a few moments to consider what you have in your life that makes you feel thankful. In fact, an entire journal devoted to gratitude is not a bad idea at all for your emotional health."

I'd like my Englone students to read the entire article by clicking on this link to Ideas for Simplifying Daily Journal .The article also has practical tips for overcoming writing blocks (i.e., running out of topics, not being able to start your essay, etc.)

Good luck!! :)

advance octoberfest (inulan tuloy)!

Because we were sick and tired of a week filled to seams with work and studies and being patient with the sordid aspects of life...

Because we were relatively young and single and entitled to whatever fun life can still offer...

Because there was nothing left to do but go home, yet the weather got so bad we couldn't do that even...

Because we were bored and Paseo was just several blocks away...we went OCTOBERFEST-ing!

But hey, it wasn't as glamorous as you'd probably think. We had dinner at Kanin Club, but we had to hurry up a bit because we came in about an hour to closing time. Our table lend a generous view of the gyrating vocalists of some show band on stage; talk about [beer] belly dancing!

Then we all trooped over to Sofia to down some malt; that's when in poured. It poured and poured all throughout the night. At certain times, it rained down harder. After our 2nd bucket, we had to transfer to a spot with sturdier roofing, just to make sure we didnt get soaked. After Mojofly, the main band, played, we went home.

There was nothing really special about the event. Same showbands, same crowd, almost the same price for the beer (what octoberfest?!?!?), and Mojofly sounded really bland...no different from the next pop band on the street.

So what was special about last Friday night? Well, I spent it with some really good friends, we laughed and despite it all we had fun. Thanks Sche, H, Raymond and Bjorn! :)

never too tired for good films

It's been another tiring (but fun) morning today at school. I had to wake up extra early this morning since I wasn't able to do much last night. I came home from UP Diliman a bit later than I expected--the traffic was horrendous and the weather just didn't cooperate. I was still on the bus headed home when Sche texted to tell me that she and H were at the isawan. So as soon as I arrived I trooped over but didn't really eat much (1 tenga, lang.)

We spent the later part of the evening watching Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ (1988). The film's based on the controversial novel by Nikos Kazantzakis' (1951)--controversial meaning banned in many countries since it was published. I particularly enjoyed the author/director's refreshing perpective of Jesus's character. This version of Jesus' life presents him as a sinful and despised man. Everyone knows Jesus's profession was in carpentry, but who would depict him as one who supplied the Romans with crosses with which they crucify Jews? Now isn't that great irony. And of course, there's that controversial scene of him and Mary Magdalene getting in the sack.


Anyway, great performance by Willem Dafoe (Jesus) and, most specially, Harvey Keitel (Judas). I actually empathized with Judas in this rendition. Hehe. Watch it so you know why. And if you do, could you tell me what you think was Jesus' last temptation. Sche, H and I might have different views.

Kakaintriga...